For so long I've waited for this day to come! You walked into my life at just the right time and out of the blue! I really had no idea it would be YOU! I'm excited, humbled, grateful, and completely in awe of the work the Lord has done with my prayers I've prayed for so very, very long now. You are perfect to me. And, I imagine what life will be like now that I have you in it to share with me! I quite honestly never thought this could be possible. So, I guess shame on me for losing faith and choosing not to believe it to be possible anymore; until now that it just happened. Now, I can only pray that I can hold onto you, and you can hold onto me through the process of learning all the in's and out's of each other, the fabric of our life experiences spent so many years apart before we found each other again. I know there are reasons for God's perfect timing; and how it has been so difficult to patiently wait for you. He knew exactly what I needed when He gave me you. And, I hope it to be the same for you.
You will probably never really know how way down in the depth of my very heart and soul I have held this place for you, this place that no one else has come close to touching yet. I have always kept that place guarded for the perfect person and the perfect timing. We'll see how this goes now. At least you have brought me back my faith and belief in knowing that anything can be possible, even when we do stray from believing that such things can happen. I am still completely floored to the point as if I am in the most pleasant dream that I never want to wake up from! I pray that this is REAL, and that I will soon be able to touch your face with my own hand and gaze upon you with my own eyes! How beautiful you are to me, both inside and out! I really believe you are and will continue to be so worth my wait! Thank you for coming back into my life, right when and where I needed you to be and where I hope you will remain and belong! All my love to you, my dearest one!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
I Wish....
I wish I could say, and do things the right way. I wish I would act and react the way a normal person should. But, sometimes my hypersensitivity gets in the way. Sometimes, it's a blessing, and sometimes I think it could be a curse. And, other times, I wish I could just throw it right out the window along with all of the other feelings that I have a hard time dealing with. **Sigh** But, I can't. This is who I am, this is how I am, and I have to deal with myself according to that, no matter how difficult I find myself to be. Make sense? Or, are you lost?
Okay, big deep breath! Breathe in......breathe out........and, now to set some goals, make sure they're attainable, and press on full speed ahead!! First, to discipline myself by preparing a schedule of meals for an entire week every Sunday. Second, set up an exercise plan, which would include running, walking, aerobics, and if I can stand it, some Pilates, and STICK TO IT!! I think everything else will hopefully, prayerfully, longingly, fall into place the way it should. I just want to feel good about myself again.
My other main goal is to be completely financially sound by the end of this year! Alright, 2010, here we go. :) I would absolutely LOVE to buy a house within the next few years, seeing as I have yet to do that (as a first time home buyer) in my life. That gives me hope, and keeps me excited!! Oh, the possibilities! Hmmmm.....
I want to be a free spirit once again, to have a totally open mind to all kinds of possibilities and even things I may not have ever thought about before!
I want to help other people. I want to have a purpose! I want to belong to myself, and be happy with who I am, where I'm at, and where I'm going.
I want to go back to college! I want to learn how to oil paint on canvas! I want to learn how to play the acoustic guitar, write music, write lyrics, and be able to sing my heart out until I'm content in who I am! Oh, how I long for the possibilities, yet again!! :O) I want to smile from ear to ear, to laugh from my belly, to hug those that need hugs, to feed those that don't have food, to clothe those that can't afford clothing! So many possibilities. Wow! I can't believe I've put all of this to paper (so to speak, and I know of course it's really typewritten on a blog on a computer on the internet)! Hehe But, I want to make a difference in people's lives. I know only then will I feel fulfilled in who I am, and where I belong. So, here I go!! It may be a long journey ahead, but I think I'm up for it. How could life be anymore challenging than the past few years? It can't, right? It's been an uphill climb up to here. So, now I want to slide down that hill, feet first, skating even, maybe, and smiling the whole way!! Yeeeehhaaawwww!! This will definitely be an exciting ride! And, I don't think I want to hang on for this one! I just want to soar, and soar high above, where I've not been before. I just want to experience something new!
Oh, Lord, please guide me through! I pray for your help!!! I know with You by my side, I can do anything! My heart longs for that peace!! So, Thank You for this life.
THE TRIALS ARE WORTH THE SMILES AFTERWARDS!! :O)
Okay, big deep breath! Breathe in......breathe out........and, now to set some goals, make sure they're attainable, and press on full speed ahead!! First, to discipline myself by preparing a schedule of meals for an entire week every Sunday. Second, set up an exercise plan, which would include running, walking, aerobics, and if I can stand it, some Pilates, and STICK TO IT!! I think everything else will hopefully, prayerfully, longingly, fall into place the way it should. I just want to feel good about myself again.
My other main goal is to be completely financially sound by the end of this year! Alright, 2010, here we go. :) I would absolutely LOVE to buy a house within the next few years, seeing as I have yet to do that (as a first time home buyer) in my life. That gives me hope, and keeps me excited!! Oh, the possibilities! Hmmmm.....
I want to be a free spirit once again, to have a totally open mind to all kinds of possibilities and even things I may not have ever thought about before!
I want to help other people. I want to have a purpose! I want to belong to myself, and be happy with who I am, where I'm at, and where I'm going.
I want to go back to college! I want to learn how to oil paint on canvas! I want to learn how to play the acoustic guitar, write music, write lyrics, and be able to sing my heart out until I'm content in who I am! Oh, how I long for the possibilities, yet again!! :O) I want to smile from ear to ear, to laugh from my belly, to hug those that need hugs, to feed those that don't have food, to clothe those that can't afford clothing! So many possibilities. Wow! I can't believe I've put all of this to paper (so to speak, and I know of course it's really typewritten on a blog on a computer on the internet)! Hehe But, I want to make a difference in people's lives. I know only then will I feel fulfilled in who I am, and where I belong. So, here I go!! It may be a long journey ahead, but I think I'm up for it. How could life be anymore challenging than the past few years? It can't, right? It's been an uphill climb up to here. So, now I want to slide down that hill, feet first, skating even, maybe, and smiling the whole way!! Yeeeehhaaawwww!! This will definitely be an exciting ride! And, I don't think I want to hang on for this one! I just want to soar, and soar high above, where I've not been before. I just want to experience something new!
Oh, Lord, please guide me through! I pray for your help!!! I know with You by my side, I can do anything! My heart longs for that peace!! So, Thank You for this life.
THE TRIALS ARE WORTH THE SMILES AFTERWARDS!! :O)
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